I don't have much time as I'm typing this message from under my desk. Our blog is in serious danger of being taken over. There is a villain--no, a SUPER villain named Zachary Ruthless...if you haven't heard of him yet, be sure to remember that name because your blog could be next!
Have you seen this face?
Have you noticed any zombie lasers lying around in your neighborhood?
One or both of these things are surefire signs that Zachary is coming for your blog next.
There is only ONE way to stop him: you need to build up an entourage of bodyguards for protection. Please join my entourage by leaving a comment here on your master bodyguard skills! If I escape, I'll pick three bodyguards to receive free copies of Zachary's book, The Rotten Adventures of Zachary Ruthless, so that you're prepared for when he comes for YOU.
There is only ONE way to stop him: you need to build up an entourage of bodyguards for protection. Please join my entourage by leaving a comment here on your master bodyguard skills! If I escape, I'll pick three bodyguards to receive free copies of Zachary's book, The Rotten Adventures of Zachary Ruthless, so that you're prepared for when he comes for YOU.
Please help! I--wait....
What was that?
I thought I heard--
BWA HA HA HA!
20 comments:
Dude, I've got the blog covered. Not Zachary Ruthless will get past these karate guns. ::kisses biceps:: IT'S ON.
Also, WOOT FOR ZACHARY RUTHLESS COMING OUT TOMORROW!!!
You won't see me (since I'd be a lousy Ninja if you could) but I've got your back!
I am using my mad mind powers as we speak to divert his attention away from your blog. In fact, he won't even remember your blog being a contender for his attack.
You are safe with me!
Maribeth:)
Don't worry! My super alert, highly responsible, never-naps-during-a-mission attack kitten is on the job!
http://i55.tinypic.com/1zvc2uc.jpg
http://i56.tinypic.com/250rwvc.jpg
...Uh... yes... he'll protect you...
I have MAD Irish dancing skills and will effectively dance all over his face. ;)
I'm handy with a filleting knife, a cleaver and a paring knife. Plus, I have three arms so can wield all three at once. I have you covered....
Mongo keep bad man away with fears and kissing.
RAAAAARRR! Mongo meant to say "with fierce kicking". Mongo smash stupid iPhone predictive text guessing!
I have a sonic screwdriver and two cats with mad hairball skillz. Bring it, Zachary!
Simply Meditative Yoga Skills (not to be confused with Yoda) and a 9 year old super hero who has named himself Blood Vane with an alias of Phoenix Livic....powers TBD, have tested the will of parents many a times
I might not be buff, but I've got the "mom-evil-eye-stare" down pretty good.
Bring it on, Zachary!
(Dying to read this one!)
Shelley
I once nearly concussed someone with a hardback copy of Louise Rennison's "Withering Tights". Just imagine how well I could protect you with all those Books I'm sure you have lying around!
I will lead him astray with talk of evil ice cream cones, and dasterdly comic books AND the secret to making vegetables taste like candy.
Zachary is standing over me with a rolling pin, a jar of jelly beans and some sort of snapping turtle. Things look a bit bleak. But he seems weaker now. These responses seem to be working ... scaring him a little ... or maybe not. Kinda hard to tell with all the cackling going on behind me.
Hey...I'd come and help you? But, yeah...don't want snakes in my computer or something...sorry about that!
I have an ever handy picture hanging kit that includes a tinkers hammer -- imagine the damage that bad boy can do to devil dog Zachary.
I happen to have a zombie defense strategy already planned out. Hah! I say to all my peeps who said my anal retentive attention to silly details was just annoying!
Okay, don't worry, my sidekick (pictured at right) and I have the perfect plan to save you. As you can see, my sidekick bears a striking resemblance to said evil-doer. He is, in fact his doppelganger!
If that's not enough to distract those zombies we have a plan 2, which involves waving our Halloween decoration brains at the zombies and then pretending to throw them. The zombies, like puppies, will turn around looking for the brains, and you will be able to make your escape.
(Seriously, this book looks like it was written for Sidekick. Can't wait to read it.)
... Responses seem to be working. Zachary seems distracted, worried, sweating maybe. No, not sweat. Salad dressing. Odd.
No worries, Joanna - I will distract Zachary with chocolate chip cookies!
This book looks perfect for my son. And yes, his name is Zachary. :)
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